So I made it a goal in
2016 to blog at least once a month. It's not a ton, I know, but it's a start. I
made the goal because I want to become a better writer, and be in the practice
of writing a little more consistently. It's a good goal, and I'm glad I made
it, but I've procrastinated two months in a row now. It's almost the end of
February and I haven't written anything. I have a few ideas and topics written
down, but I decided to pass on them this month. Instead, I would like to share
some self-reflection. Anytime I find myself avoiding a known responsibility, I
try to uncover what's behind it. There’s something in me that usually needs to
change – either an unrealistic expectation, a misunderstanding, or something
else that’s causing me to slow down. So, over the last couple of days I've been
asking myself "Why do I not want to write that blog post? What about it is
bugging me?" After giving it some thought, I believe my pride is at the
bottom of it.
I have some unrealistic
expectations for myself and blogging. I have believed a lie that if I'm
blogging, the content needs to be original, insightful, intriguing, or at the
very least funny. Of course, I hope my writing has some of those qualities. But
at its base, this expectation reveals pride. I want people to think I'm smart
and wise and funny. This is yet another instance of seeking the approval of
men. I need the gospel to speak to this area of my soul. While I hope to write
quality posts that are worth a few seconds of somebody's time (if nothing else,
my wife will read this, and maybe my mom...), my main goal is to sharpen my
writing, not to get people to tell me I’m good enough, smart enough, and
doggonit, people like me. My identity is found in Christ, not a blog. I am
consciously dropping this expectation of myself. I intend the content to simply
help me articulate thoughts on any given topic. Hopefully this will sharpen my
thinking and writing skills.
Additionally, I've felt
like the blog post needs to be long. I don't know why, but I've always had this
vague feeling that my blog posts need to be more "professional." I
imagined them being really long, and include complex arguments and take a lot
of energy to structure and write. Again, pride comes in. I have realized that
I'm thinking more highly of myself than I ought to. I don't need to prove
myself to anyone, and even if I did, a blog isn't the way I'd go about it. So,
I've decided to set a reasonable length requirement that will keep me writing a
decent chuck, but not too much. The requirement is at least 400 words. This
sentence ends the post at 490 words.
