Why I Dislike Blogging and How I Plan to Change It

So I made it a goal in 2016 to blog at least once a month. It's not a ton, I know, but it's a start. I made the goal because I want to become a better writer, and be in the practice of writing a little more consistently. It's a good goal, and I'm glad I made it, but I've procrastinated two months in a row now. It's almost the end of February and I haven't written anything. I have a few ideas and topics written down, but I decided to pass on them this month. Instead, I would like to share some self-reflection. Anytime I find myself avoiding a known responsibility, I try to uncover what's behind it. There’s something in me that usually needs to change – either an unrealistic expectation, a misunderstanding, or something else that’s causing me to slow down. So, over the last couple of days I've been asking myself "Why do I not want to write that blog post? What about it is bugging me?" After giving it some thought, I believe my pride is at the bottom of it. 

I have some unrealistic expectations for myself and blogging. I have believed a lie that if I'm blogging, the content needs to be original, insightful, intriguing, or at the very least funny. Of course, I hope my writing has some of those qualities. But at its base, this expectation reveals pride. I want people to think I'm smart and wise and funny. This is yet another instance of seeking the approval of men. I need the gospel to speak to this area of my soul. While I hope to write quality posts that are worth a few seconds of somebody's time (if nothing else, my wife will read this, and maybe my mom...), my main goal is to sharpen my writing, not to get people to tell me I’m good enough, smart enough, and doggonit, people like me. My identity is found in Christ, not a blog. I am consciously dropping this expectation of myself. I intend the content to simply help me articulate thoughts on any given topic. Hopefully this will sharpen my thinking and writing skills. 

Additionally, I've felt like the blog post needs to be long. I don't know why, but I've always had this vague feeling that my blog posts need to be more "professional." I imagined them being really long, and include complex arguments and take a lot of energy to structure and write. Again, pride comes in. I have realized that I'm thinking more highly of myself than I ought to. I don't need to prove myself to anyone, and even if I did, a blog isn't the way I'd go about it. So, I've decided to set a reasonable length requirement that will keep me writing a decent chuck, but not too much. The requirement is at least 400 words. This sentence ends the post at 490 words.